A Core Memory

A Moment With A Unicorn and also my D&D Campaign's Secret Map Which The Party Could See if they were paid subscribers but they're all cheap and that means you yes YOU BRITTANY you free subscriber you)

do you remember back then? that first day when you looked up into her eyes and saw nothing. her name is autumn and you love her. she has short, brown hair and looks like a boy and you love her. it’s there, she tells you, over by the sewage drain. we found it. the unicorn you were looking for. you look in the direction of the drain, all white concrete crusted over with blackened water and algae, and see nothing. no white hair, no horn, dripping with the blood of a fallen enemy. you have heard stories of unicorns that are fair and just and appear to little girls who are good and pure, but your mother, no, she has whispered to you that they are mighty warriors, ones that will fight for you if you are good. if you try very, very hard, then you can have a unicorn as your warrior steed. that is what you expect, when you gaze through the trees in the forest. a unicorn, a real one, waiting for you. autumn seems so sincere. but there is nothing there. it’s there, she says. look. you just have to look. there’s nothing there, you insist again, i’m looking. autumn’s brow furrows and you realize, for the first time, that she is not hunting for unicorns and fairies in the forest. she is running through the forest. she is not looking for unicorns and wizards. she is imagining unicorns and wizards. it’s all a game to her. why has she stopped looking for them? why doesn’t she want them to be real? doesn’t she want to see their staffs and wings and run her fingers along their slick, blood-covered horns? doesn’t she want to command them? you do.

This is the latest artwork by dawnwilldraw on Instagram and is related to my writing project and not the poem and I hope it makes you vaguely uncomfortable.

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Here is the secret map to my D&D campaign. If they were paid subscribers they would know how to get out but those lame ducks won’t support me and are cheapskates.